


definitely, maybe

by nebulousviolet



Category: H.I.V.E. Series - Mark Walden
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, also shelby buys otto gag gifts and this is canon now, silly light-hearted oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24289951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebulousviolet/pseuds/nebulousviolet
Summary: “Obvious,” Otto parrots, and tents his fingers on the placemat in front of him. “It’s not that I’m prejudiced, because I’m glad two of my friends are happy together, but how exactly was it obvious that you’re gay and dating Franz?”“What, do you want a powerpoint presentation or something?” Nigel raises an eyebrow.
Relationships: Franz Argentblum/Nigel Darkdoom
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	definitely, maybe

**Author's Note:**

> okay 1) i cannot believe i had to learn about hive book 9 from fanfiction.net and 2) this is unashamedly, unabashedly stupid and yet i stand by it. my biggest fear is walden making nigel/franz canon and then pulling a bury your gays so my strategy is just to pre-emptively erase it before it even happens. you’re welcome.

“I can’t believe you had no idea,” Nigel repeats slowly.

Otto and Wing exchange furtive looks. Otto thinks that, all things considered, he’s taking this news rather well, and that the sudden lecture is coming out of nowhere. “Were we supposed to?” he asks.

“Shelby knew,” Nigel says. “I assumed she’d tell the two of you, or at least Wing.”

“ _Shelby_ knew?” Otto stares. He tries to recall any interactions with her that, in retrospect, seem particularly smug or gloating on her end - difficult, seeing as Shelby finds a way to brag about the sun rising in the morning, such is the Trinity way - but comes up blank, although that might just be the shock talking. “I refuse to believe Shelby kept something like this a secret without immediately trying to rub her investigative skills in my face.”

Nigel rolls his eyes, and takes a measured bite of his bread roll. Otto genuinely has no idea how he has the nerve to keep his appetite after dropping this particular bombshell. “Referring to it as an investigation is a bit of a stretch,” he says. “She assumed, and I didn’t correct her because she assumed right. Honestly, I was waiting for the rest of you to catch up. Although, really, I guess I thought you had _already_ caught up...”

“What about Laura?” Wing asks. He’s uncharacteristically expressive; Otto thinks that his brow might even be furrowed. “Did Laura know?”

“Of course she did,” Nigel says, dismissive. “I told her years ago in the Glasshouse, but she wasn’t surprised then, either. Probably because it was obvious.”

“Obvious,” Otto parrots, and tents his fingers on the placemat in front of him. “It’s not that I’m prejudiced, because I’m glad two of my friends are happy together, but how exactly was it _obvious_ that you’re gay and dating Franz?”

“What, do you want a powerpoint presentation or something?” Nigel raises an eyebrow. “We’ve been giving joint presents since we left school.”

“Nero and Raven gave me a joint graduation present, and they’re not together,” Otto says. Granted, he’s not sure how strictly the definition of _present_ can be applied to a set of forged identity documents, but then Shelby got him a six-pack of toilet paper with sudoku puzzles printed on each square for Christmas last year - at least the falsified birth certificate and public examination grades are _useful_. “I thought that maybe Franz just really sucked at gift-giving.”

“That’s because he does,” Nigel says. “He buys me stocks for my birthday, which is exactly why we give gifts as a couple. The only reason why Raven and Nero do it _platonically_ is because they’re weirdly codependent, that’s not normal people behaviour. And anyone who’s held a conversation with either of them knows it’s true, so don’t give me that look, Fanchu.”

“Say that a little louder, why don’t you,” Otto groans. He waves the sleeve of his shirt vaguely in Nigel’s direction. “I’m pretty sure they both still have me bugged.”

“I agree with Otto on this,” Wing shakes his head emphatically. “Not on the surveillance, because that’s ridiculous, but you can’t really have expected us to read that much into your gifting habits.”

Otto considers telling Wing about all the times he’s sensed recording devices attached on their graduation diplomas, before technology caught up and superseded the implant inside his head. They can have that conversation another time, he decides. “Thank you,” is his gracious response, and he sips his water.

“We moved in with each other after H.I.V.E,” Nigel tries again.

“So did me and Wing,” Otto replies after he swallows. “What’s your point?”

Nigel opens his mouth, looking as though he _desperately_ wants to make a comment about that - Otto can’t imagine what, though - but gives a minute shake of his bald head instead. Otto is sure that Nigel must shave it. There’s no way he was born without hair but with eyebrows.

“In fifth year, Nero separated us and gave us different roommates,” Nigel says. Otto remembers, because he remembers everything - Franz had been lumbered with a particularly peppy PolFi second year student, and Nigel had (rather fortuitously) ended up with a BioTech boy in their own year. He thinks he might’ve mentioned it to Laura once, while they were revising in the library for the end-of-year practicals, but that’s about it. “Didn’t you ever wonder why?”

“It seemed like private business,” Wing explains placidly. Otto nods in agreement.

“The two of you are so dense,” Nigel sighs. “Otto, I can’t believe you fooled me into thinking you were a child genius.”

“That’s because I was,” Otto frowns. “I obtained a doctorate before the age of sixteen.”

“So did Laura, and she _also_ had common sense, so you’re not special,” Nigel says. “I’m willing to excuse Wing, because of his whole zen ninja thing-“

“Thank you,” Wing bows his head courteously.

“-but really, Malpense? Bad form. Awful.”

The waitress chooses this exact moment to serve the main courses, and Otto eyes Nigel warily over his plate of mushroom risotto. Maybe it really _was_ obvious, he relents. It’s not like Nigel or Franz ever showed a keen interest in girls, not even when Shelby smuggled tequila into their accommodation block during their final year and got them all so drunk that they were halfway into a round of strip poker in the girls’ room when they got busted by Francisco. And given Otto’s track record with romance - mostly the fact that he’s been liable to miss it when people are interested in _him_ , let alone when other people are interested in each other - it’s entirely possible. The worst part of all this is that _Laura and Shelby knew._

Then a terrible thought occurs to him.

“Oh no,” Nigel says slowly, setting his knife and fork down. “Why do you have that look on your face? Did you accidentally plug your ethernet cable into H.I.V.Emind again and forget about it? Did Overlord get backed up to the cloud?”

“Even worse,” Otto says miserably, and sinks his head onto the table, just missing the risotto. “Shelby is never going to let me live the fact that I somehow missed this down.”

“You’re not the one who has to live with her,” Wing mutters. “Nigel, would you consider not telling Shelby about our ignorance?”

Nigel considers this.

“Alright,” he decides. “But you two are getting the check.”


End file.
